Nicholas speaks

My little white boy dancing his heart out.

1. "What would you say if you were in a pretzel?"

2. He measured Ellie and me with a rope: "Mom you are twice as big as tall and Ellie is half a minute."

3.  "Pull hard as a dragon.  And another dragon."

4.  "When do I get to go to kung fu class?"  (I have no idea where he even heard of this....)

5.  "Anybody hungry for peas??"  (When we were camping.  And then he pulled several handfuls of peas out of his pockets.)

6.  "Did you know cows don't take baths?"

7.  "Okay guys, it's time to say jokes."

8.  Grammer, trying to tell a joke: "Knock knock."
Nicholas: "I can't answer the door right now!"

9.  "Pants don't like sunglasses because pants don't talk.  Only people wear sunglasses, not pants."

10.  Papa: "Do you have a piggy bank to save your money in?"
Nicholas: "Nope. Sorry.  But I have pockets!"

11.   We went to Red Robin to eat one afternoon.
On the wall above our table was this picture:

Nicholas looked at it for a minute, then declared: "Those people are having a crazy time."

12. On a chilly morning he came downstairs and curled into a ball on the couch. "It's like 16 in here!  I think we need to turn off the AC, Mom." I told him it was already off.  "Wow. How many ingredients is it outside??"

13.  We were at my parents house and Nicholas came into the living room:  "Who wants some MONEY?!"  His pockets were full of pennies, which he then handed out to everyone in the room.

14. Kent's parents asked Nicholas about his timeout chair. He said he didn't like sitting in it. So they asked him why he spends so much time there.  
"Because my mom is really good at being the boss."

15. I pointed out a dragonfly that was hovering near us. 
Nicholas: "I don't like dragonflies. They're allergic to me."

16.  And yesterday, he was playing with a friend outside and did NOT want to come inside to use the bathroom (and it was more than obvious he needed to.) After much pleading and asking, he still refused to come inside to go.  Finally he looked up at me and said, 
"I know!  You can bring something out here and I can pee in it outside!"  
Not a chance, kiddo.  Not a chance.